Conversations with My Other Half

was on the way home from sch after picking J up when the advert for 3G mobile phone video streaming came on.........in case no one knows which ad im referring to......it goes something like this.......

Husband : Where is it?
Wife : Move your underwear aside.
Husband : I still can't find it.
Wife : I thought I saw it, the blue ones.
Husband : argh, I'm late for a meeting and I can't find my socks.
Wife : I'm late for work too.
Husband : Where is it?
Wife : Ah, there they are, beside your boxers.
Husband : *something something, i can't remember*
Wife : I have to look for everything for you, even when I'm in tokyo
Husband : heh....that way u'll miss me more. *or something liddat, i can't remember*

anywayz, the following ensued....

Me : awwww.....so sweet.
J : hehehheeee......
Me : shit......think i'm spending too much time with you. i'm becoming soft.
J : is that bad?
Me : if one day i start wearing a pink skirt make sure you kill me.
J : ok

further along the journey home......rod monteiro and Jean Danker came on air and started talking about women and PMS.....they talked abt how some women become violent PMSers and Jean said she was the sad and sob sob kind. a caller to the programme said that guys shld be more caring and concerned abt their partners during PMS (their partner's PMS, not their's).........which led to this.....

J : see. you shld show more care and concern.
Me : yea, and get my head bitten off when i do. better to leave you alone.
J : think i would more likely flood your place (with tears).
Me : i'm not a good swimmer.
J : i'll throw you a life preserver.
Me : no you won't.
J : y not?
Me : when u have PMS and start crying, that means i did something to irritate or annoy you. and when u are irritated, you ignore me. sooooo, during PMS, if i irritate you, you start crying and flood the place and cos im a lousy swimmer, i'll start to drown. and cos i irritated you, u ignore me, which leads to y u won't throw me a life preserver. therefore, either way you put it, whether you flood the place or bite my head off when i try to be more concerned, i die. so, better to leave u alone when u pms.

rod and jean had the phone lines open for women to describe their PMS experiences.......they shld do the same for the guyz........

Rants & Ponderings

i have 4 more assignments due btwn now and the end of next wk.......not including my amended FYP report which is due on monday.........out of that 4, i have 3 left to complete....and the exams are jus 4 days after the last deadline........

was in the canteen with the indian a few days back........just after an assessment of one of our projects.......and we were jus talking abt how deep a pile of shit we have gotten ourselves into this semester.........i had thought that the previous semester was bad.......but if i clear this semester, it will be my greatest achievement in all my 4 years in NTU..........more power to me then.......

in regards to this, an idea did pop into my head recently........students are often evaluated on how well they do in their academic life by their grades and their participation in extra-cirricular activities.........but wat abt those who, like the indian and myself, slog our butts off and yet manage to get through? where's the recognition for that?

sure we slacked off at the beginning which landed us in this sorry state, but we have made the effort to catch up and we have done it successfully........im very sure the effort we have put in by taking on the extra study load is much more than many students who are in the same year of study...........yet at the end of it, we dun get any extra points for the effort.......

then there are those who are lagging behind, but dun bother to try and take on the extra load to complete cos they think it is a waste of time and there's no reason for them to take on the extra load.........

y isnt there a system which rewards those who bother to put in the extra effort to catch up and make amends for the stumbles they made in the past?

why cant some form of evaluation on the study load a student takes and the grades obtained be implemented? for exmaple, if a student who has not done well in the past and is now trying to catch up by taking extra loads and managing to do so successfully can be given some extra points for his/her GPA or watever they have.........those extra points might jus allow him/her to push that little bit harder.........and might jus help in the final grade as well...........

~ . ~

currently on this particular assignment which involves designing and implementing a flight travel planner..........those kinds that allows you to put in your start and destination and find the shortest flight plans for ya...........sounds simple enuff...........but there is a catch.......we have to do the flight planner in 3 different types programming language........not so fun anymore......

so anywayz, was jus pondering how in our everyday english language we those occasions where there is alot of ambiguity in our words.......

in the flight planner, if we were to state "arrive at 5:20am local time".........which time is local time? local time as in the time of the departing country or local time as in the time of the country of arrival? naturally it is taken that it would mean the time of the country of arrival........sure?

then of course there is the question of which wednesday a person means when he/she says "next wednesday"............this one hard to describe, but i think some would be able to catch my drift........is "next wednesday" the coming wednesday or the one after that? or izit the wednesday that hasnt passed but is in the same wk?

these are times i realise y im behind in my work........

Dollar Blues

need to make a correction to the earlier post...........to burn 300 calories through horseback riding, u need to do it for an hour not 30mins..........

the relation btwn sex and horseback riding jus cant get any clearer now........

~ . ~

ive come to the conclusion that the net is evil.......or rather, online shops are evil.......either that or im jus weak in the head..........almost nearly plonked out abt US$50 on just 10 pieces of cloth for polishing/buffing my ride with........

i shld just switch off the pc now, lock myself in the wardrobe and sniff on moth balls till i pass out or become brain damaged...........

times like these a phrase comes to mind that my mum often likes to use to describe my dad and myself........
"A fool and his money are soon to part"that and
"sigh"
~ . ~

as with most colleges/universities, NTU has it's own publication called "The Nanyang Chronicle" which if u swop it round abit u get "The Chronicle of Nanyang"...........think i shall not go any further cos im guessing evry1 shld know where this lameness is heading......

anywayz, in the recent issue, it was reported that NTU is gonna phase out free parking by installing pay systems in all carparks including the open air ones.........this would be completed by 27th May.......

a few words i have for NTU, since im in the NTU students blog ring:
1. more reason for me to quickly graduate and get out this sem...........
2. SIMI LAN?!?!?! (translated: WTF?!?!?!?!?!)

and a few words for the NTU Students' Union:
1. HOI~! you tell me now how? you tell me?!

pardon my crudeness.......first, there was the hostel fee hike.......didnt affect me so i didnt give 2 hoots abt that, then they included the shuttle bus service fee into the fees of all students......not too pleased abt that.......then there was the tuition fee hike........followed by another hike.......then now this........

cmon lah........jus bcos government give us ang bao doesnt mean u step in and suck us leh............

pls pls pls pls let me get out this sem..........

i like to Gallop too~!!!

that's it.......osim has topped their igallop advert......

first they put models in cowgirl costumes, throw them on the igallop and do close ups of them gyrating grinding "galloping" on the igallop.........guess nobody found that very enticing......i mean, any guy can go home to his wife or gf and be able to pretty much reconstruct the thing...........

now they (osim, not guys) have decided they need to add more star appeal to their contraption...........so if having jus plain beautiful women is not enticing enuf, they get a celebrity to do the galloping...........makes sense doesnt it........show a celeb working out on the igallop and there'll be many guys out there jus salivating to the ad.....guys jus love wat they cannot have..........a celeb doing the igallop is rather difficult to re-enact without the celeb herself........

and then suddenly it dawns on me.........the ad is targeting the ladies..........not the guys.....

fact of the day, horseback riding burns 320 calories in 30mins........sex burns 150 calories in 30mins........so to burn approximately the same amount as horseback riding, a person needs to have an hour of sex..........

let's see.........horse back riding........
1. a horse is expensive
2. horse shit is stinky
3. a sore butt sucks
4. u need to wear those horse-riding gear
5. i think any horse would rather be eating grass than letting any1 ride it
6. u will probably get hot and sweaty
7. 30mins

sex
1. no need a horse - savings
2. no odour - unless one person has BO
3. sore butts - maybe
4. no need to wear anything - definitely helps with the sweating
5. doubt either party minds being ridden - another plus point
6. hot and sweaty activity - that's a draw point
7. one hour - now who wouldnt want that?

so 4 plus points and 3 draw points......sex is better......unless pple still think the celeb factor trumps it all..........

Dream a Little Dream

there are times when i think i daydream too much and waste alot of time indulging in wat has yet to materialise.......or ever materialise.........just spent the last hour surfing ard the net looking for info on my rating 5 dream car.........when i shld actually be concentrating on my work..........

yes, i rate my dreams on the scale of 1-10 from 1 being the most realistic and 10 being the most absolutely ridiculous dream..........

was looking at the Mercedes C55 AMG.........at $308k, i need to be pretty damn rich to be able to own one........then again, i could jus migrate to another country and get it cheaper......

there is the C350 or C230 also........much much cheaper......by abt a third of the AMG's price.........tho less exclusive, but still good enuf and more easily attained compared to the C55........

ok, 9am....time to start work..........dreaming is good......i like dreaming.......at least until it is time to stop..........

Blah

interesting clip..........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzOGCTHqP6Y&search=singapore

Jibber Jabber

there times i wonder if my mouth has a mind of its own.........either that or the rebellious side of me is jus dying to take over.........

was at a tutorial earlier in the day with the indian when the tutor called upon the indian to give an answer for one of the tutorial questions.........the indian, as always, had not prepared for the tutorial.........something which i dun do either........explains y we are scrimping around at the bottom rung of the academic ladder..........

Tutor : What's your answer to the question?
The Indian : I'm not very sure.
Tutor : Would you like to give it a try?
Me : *while looking down and making some notes* No.

the class broke out laughing and the indian jus looked at me bewildered while i could only look back sheepishly.......i swear it was totally by reflex.......there i times i wonder if somebody else is living in my head......

~ . ~

was on the way to sch today with the indian when the Flying Dutchman, a popular DJ at one of sg's radio stations, was talking abt lop-sided breasts in women.........according to a recent study by a british univerisity, women with a large difference between breasts have a higher chance of breast cancer.........

The Indian : that's not very nice of him. he's scaring every woman who is listening to him now.
Me : yea. can imagine all of the sg women running to the toilet and starting to determine if they have extremely lop-sided breasts. and then only to come out worrying more cos they believe they have extremely lop-sided breasts or cos they dun have any to begin measuring with.

i apologise to the sg ladies reading this.......i dun deny that i think sg women have smaller breasts than women from other countries, but u have to admit that yourselves.....afterall, breasts dun count for everything.......the whole package counts.........

to any ladies who are offended by my remark, i still love your breasts watever your size is.

~ . ~

just got home from dinner at popeye's chicken at the airport......and since we are on the topic of breasts, i have made an observation that would possibly help women fight "The Sag"........

when you are cross and you fold your arms across your chest, be sure to fold them under your breasts i.e. look after your assets

saw an american lady with HUGE breasts........and yep, "The Sag" had got her bad.....ooo......it rhymes.......she had her folded arms resting on them and they seemed to fit like her arms were moulded into her breasts.........im guessing the arm folding had contributed to the sagging.........

so there ya go.......tip of the day for the ladies......when you r angry and need to fold your arms, do it cradling your breasts..........remember, every little bit helps.........and if u happen to be angry with your significant other half, the visual aid helps in getting him to succumb real fast too...........

Can almost smell it.....The end, it's near.....

J's obsession with one of the MSU2006 contestants continues........she's extremely pleased that her name shares the same first letter as that particular contestant.......

~ . ~

just handed in one project today......it was a big one.......glad it's over, save for the demo of the program sometime during the month.......i know the grade wouldnt be a fail, but i doubt it will be good either........well, i guess given the amount of workload this sem and how much a 2 man team can accomplish compared to most other 3 man teams, this is acceptable......could be better but im not really in the mood to ask for more now........

just finished up another project a few minutes ago too..........this one im not proud of.......it probably wouldnt fail either.........but im not happy with the way it was done and the conduct of my project mates........emphasizes the point again that frens make bad team members unless you know that they are not the lazy kind, not the kind to mix friendship and work, able to give 101% in the project and deliver on time at least most of the time if not everytime.........this bunch, i give up on.........but as the team lead, i am partly to blame as well for not pointing the guys in the right direction in the first place........thankfully heng heng found something to salvage the project.......else confirm die ugly ugly...........

so anywayz, that's FYP + SC432 + SC442 = 3 projects down........and 5 more deadlines to go.........2 presentations over the next 2 days and 3 will be left........exams after that and i can kick back relax.........dying for a drink, haven had a good drink in ages........can almost smell the hoegardden........

~ . ~

been listening to alot of 80s music lately.........mainly stuff from phil collins, roxette, spandau ballet and alphaville........too lazy to even play my cd on the way to sch nowadays......prefer to jus tune in to the radio station playing songs i grew up listening to.......

a fren had commented that i have quite a few strands of white hair showing........immediately had J help me pluck them out when i got home later.........the final count stood at 11 strands......all of which probably grew during these past few months.........every1 reckons i will grow 3 strands for evry strand i pluck out........well, that means i wont grow any.....cos i didnt do the plucking..........

forever young i am determined to stay through watever means, regardless of what any1 says and how many strands of white i have on my head...........buahhahahahaa...........

A First For Everything......

ive joined my first blog ranking thingy~!

not the kind who joins this kinda stuff, but got an email today from some guy whom i had thought was a fren that had set up this blog ranking thingy......they have the same name.......only realised that they have different surnames after i had joined........

anywayz, im now obligated to go whore my myself and my blog.........

ive only entered my blogger site since it's easier to work with........and anywayz, i post on both my xanga and blogger sites......

so pple reading both (for wat reason i have no idea, even the colours are the same......or maybe cos im jus so likeable....) jus click on the buttons each time.....after all u just love me so duncha?

MSU2006

y izit that some of the girls in MSU2006 swimsuit tv trailer look like they have a bruised eye? is it the sun or is it just me?

Food

joel posted something on vegetarians and their feeding habits.......inspired me to write something of my own considering i eat a fair amount and am quite a foodie myself......

his post can be read here

i prefer to keep my relationship between food simple......i dun normally do this, but when i do talk to my food it is always one of the following

1. "u are to be eaten by me, i shall eat u. NOW."
2. "me hungry, u feed me."
3. "u r a tub of ice-cream, now u r jus a tub."

unlike some who might go, "awwww u r so cute. i shall not eat you." and then continue to suffer from hunger and battling moral issues abt eating or not eating.......

if an animal is meant to be eaten e.g. a chick, it is meant to be eaten. something along the lines of "chickie san. now u die an honourable death." or something to that extent.......

with reference to vegetarians, i absolutely cannot see myself as one or fully understand y anyone would wanna be one.......and like joel mentioned in his post, wat's with the mock meat stuff..........mock or not mock, i prefer not to ask too much.....food is meant to be eaten and not meant to have a relationship with........

stress does make a person loopy.......

MSU 2006

so the miss singapore universe pageant is coming round again..........for those interested, here's the site.......

http://www.msu2006.com.sg/

the pics inside dun do the contestants justice really.........then again, the contestants dun do singapore women much justice either anywayz.........getting better than previous years, but still not that good enuff........i believe we have prettier and smarter ladies on this island

there are times i wonder if my girl is actually that, a girl.....J's been going loopy abt one of the contestants lately.....incidentally, the contestant is from the same jc as i was, in case any of my mates from jc are reading..........yep.......she's in the imode advert that's showing in cinemas now........fortunately, or unfortunately, she wasnt in the igallop advert.........else it would have done "wonders", or wonders for her miss singapore universe bid.........

sex sells ladies and gentlemen, and to have your country's rep miss universe doing the errrmmmm........igallop..........might or might not help in the international pageant.......i believe i have jus coined a new term for "woman on top"

then again, the advert might jus kill all hopes of winning due to the tackiness of it........

Brokeback

to the producers of brokeback mountain and ang lee,

u guyz have absolutely no idea wat an impact u have made on straight heterosexual guys with your new movie.

had the tv on while i was working on my project just a few minutes ago......and i could hear the trailer for some movie about to show on the channel in a few days time........wat i heard, made me wince......this is what i heard.....

Voice-over : They were best friends. Until.......
*bombing sounds*
Voice-over : They fell in love.....
Male voice : I'm in love with you.

the image of heath ledger throwing jake gyllenhaal against a wall and smooching the air out of him started playing itself over and over in my head.........

thankfully this followed next......

Voice-over : With the same woman.

i heaved a sigh of relief and looked up from my work......it was a trailer of Pearl Harbour

i have absolutely nothing against gay love and gays.......i jus dun feel the need to share their physical activities with each other........your movie has jus blown my mind.......to bits....

Of Food and Famine

so i handed in my FYP report today........marks the end of a very long and tedious experience tho there were lessons learnt along the way so it wasnt a total waste of time.......now jus have to wait and see wat my grade is.........it's a load off really........

got projects to finish up before the run down to the exams........hopefully this would be the last stretch of my education..........as the saying goes, the grass is always greener on the other side, ill leave the missing my student life till a later date when im jaded and over-worked, like some of u who i know are reading this.......right now i just cant wait to get out of it......

need money lah.......gotta support 2 wives leh.......

the Bahrain Grand Prix was a blast.......fantastic race.......looks like the 2006 season is gonna be good.........the malaysian grand prix is this wkend.........woot~!!!!

think im gonna grow really fat.....based on the lifestyle ive been living over the past few weeks, eat, sleep, work, eat, sleep work..........even those words dun contain the letters r, u or n.......and those who have seen my appetite know that the laws of errrr.......digestion dun apply to me..........

the Indian posed to me an interesting, tho crude question today.....he asked how many times i move my bowels a day.........after much thought, i realised that my answer did not make sense.............but it is wat it is, the intake doesnt equate the output neither linearly nor proportionately.........it's more kinda like the relation is inversely proportionate........

and that's how an engineer explains shit...........

the past few days have been rather.........fattening.........had a rather large breakfast of eggs, sausages and french toast for breakfast on saturday followed by mac's new milkshake in the afternoon, then pizza yesterday during the race after dinner, my chicken and chips late lunch today and i jus came home from a supper of satay and chicken wings with my parents.......

there was a glitch in my recent food binge..........though not a big glitch, still interesting enuf to post considering the cause..........mum has this thing about equating less food = healthier food........and she sometimes torments my dad and me with a meal of minute proportions........yesterday's dinner was one of those occasions.........

imagine feeding 4 people with just soup, rice and a single can of luncheon meat......and may i state that that can was not your usual Ma Ling brand that comes in a nice big round can......having that probably wouldnt have helped much either actually.......the can we had was.......puny........insignificant.........that can was more can than it was meat.......

i know there are pple in the world who have even less to eat......but that is totally irrelevant to the issue and is not a valid reason for me to quell my complaining.........

quibbled with my mum alittle over the quantity of dinner.........she said that in future my wife would have to support a family of pigs.......i told her there would only be one pig that my future wife would need to take care...........

fortunately my sis came to the rescue jus minutes after dinner......she had ordered 2 pizzas for dinner with my bro-in-law and wondered if i could help finish up the leftovers.....

times like these i absolutely love my sis to bits........moral of the story, make sure your parents have more sex........

1.5hrs

saw this quiz thing on candy's blog.........

I'm a Chevrolet Corvette!

You're a classic - powerful, athletic, and competitive. You're all about winning the race and getting the job done. While you have a practical everyday side, you get wild when anyone pushes your pedal. You hate to lose, but you hardly ever do.

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

the corvette is a nice car......very nice curves and smooth flowing lines......but i dun wanna be an american muscle car.........i wanna be about clinical precision and controlled power........i wanna be a german engineered porsche~! any1 wanna swap?

1.5hrs to qualifying~!!!!!! the countdown has begun.....goodie

1 DAY

BAHRAIN GRAND PRIX QUALIFYING IS TODAY~!!!!! WOOT~~~!!!!!!!!

Temptation

in a few minutes, i will be heading to Sim Lim Square to get new printer cartridges.......i just hope i can resist temptation and go buy myself a new 20" monitor........so tempting.......

wish me luck pple......

3 days~!!!!

realised i haven posted any pics of the car with its new shoes......they arent wat i had originally wanted so im not particularly thrilled about the way the car looks now.......BUT im not stopping here.........im on the look out for any new wheels in the market that i can potentially switch over to in maybe say 2 to 3yrs? by that time the tyres would have worn out and i shld have enuff to indulge in a new set again.........either that or if it is overtaken by events (i.e. strike the lottery), ill still get something i want.....so not too bad........

self-consolation works wonders duncha'll think?

so anywayz.......once more, here's my ride...........after a wash and wax of course.......


my neighbours probably think im nuts to keep snapping pics of my car......then again, their cars arent as well kept enuf for them to keep snapping pics even if they wanted to.....im tempted to offer them my services........sometimes it hurts to see the way they care for their cars.......

for the sake of comparison, the old set were these........


reason for letting go of the old set was due to the depreciation of the value of wheels and tyres......to get the most money out of that set, i had to let them go new........the tyres on those were not good either, had bad experiences with that brand+model, so did several frens........i dun wan to ever have to pick my own bones out of a ditch cos of lousy tyres.........

these tyres were not wat i had originally wanted either........but i guess these will do for now.......

next up, coilovers.......gonna lower it alittle.........cant stand driving arnd on pillows, too soft, the new civic is much better to drive ard corners *sighz*..........after that, intake, exhaust, PBV, pulley, strut bar, tie bar and unichip.........

if i cant have a civic, this had better outrun one........

i kinda miss my old ride........*sniff sniff*


3 days to the Bahrain Grand Prix~!!!!!! woot~!!!!!!!

6 Days

on my recent luck....

1. during the past wk, i have watched 2 movies that were nominated for best picture at the oscars, brokeback mountain and munich.........both didnt win........

2. my new ride's number came out in the lottery (i.e. 4D).......i didnt buy.........but for that, J's parents who did buy the number, got me $50 worth of carpark coupons........

~ . ~

the movie thing is kinda unrelated to my luck actually......heck......at times ill like to believe the world turns bcos of me.........

anywayz, brokeback mountain was.........an eye opener.......actually, more like the exact literal opposite.......i have nothing against gay love........really.......im perfectly fine with gays, they are pple afterall, they have feelings and ermm....urges......and fears, likes, dislikes, abilities and stuff.........

BUT i dun think it is necessary for me to share their love making experience IN ANY FORM watsoever.........ohyuk

i have the image of heath ledger ripping off jake gyllenhaal's jeans and boning him from behind burned all the way through my retinas through the back of my head........ohgod

really, despite all my poking making fun of them, im perfectly fine with gay love and i respect them as pple.........

~ . ~

being working on my FYP, and i have 7 days to submission..........and actually looking at the thing, im not sure if it is gonna go down well with my supervisor.......the theories seem to be logically sound........but the actual thing doesnt seem to be working right.........

there goes a large percentage of the marks out the window........

sighz........this is probably the last shot i have at getting a decent honours.........not sure how it's gonna turn out.........gonna keep my fingers crossed.........

~ . ~

one last thing, 6 days to the new F1 season~!!!!! woot~!!!!!

42 pages later.........

that's the number of pages i've managed to churn out for my final year project report so far.....still have more to write........im targeting somewhere in the regions of 70-80pages which is what my supervisor is expecting too............at least that should show a substantial amount of work done and get me that much closer to an A........which i really need now to get a slightly decent grade of honours degree.......considering ive not gotten any As or Bs so far in my entire academic life in NTU..........

not sure if the material i have left will be able to make up for the remaining 30 odd pages though............

~ . ~

there are several evenings in NTU after dinner, whilst on my way back to the car with J, when i look ard the areas near nanyang lake and suddenly catch a whiff of nostalgia........im reminded instantly of the evenings while serving NS whether in OCS or while my tour of duty in HQ CDO........those moments when it would be jus near twilight.......when the sun had set but there was still enough light to illuminate the stillness of the land.........that small little window when the day animals are settling down and the nocturnal animals are jus stirring so there are no crickets and no birds in the sky or any noise in the trees........

the peace of it all is really intoxicating at times, i get light headed every once in a while jus taking in the atmosphere..........

on occasion a breeze picks up to rustle the leaves on the trees for one last song jus before darkness falls.........or the sound of tyres grinding the gravel from a car pulling up into a parking lot........all the sounds that signify the end of the day saying the same thing, something that i hope will be the same at the end of this semester........

"Good job kid, it's all good. It's enough."