Wednesday, May 31, 2006

It Hurts

ouch

singapore idol is showing now............

ouch

some bugger with cousin it for a head jus shredded 3 Doors Down's "Here Without You"

owwwwwwwwwww...........

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Hmmmm.......

just got something interesting in the mail.........a new Shell Escape Elite card......

for those not familiar with the card, it is basically a redemption program created by Shell the petroleum company for sg customers.........we can accumulate points when we make purchases from the petrol kiosks that can in turn be used to redeem gifts in future.......

i was previously on the personal card, now ive been upgraded to the elite card due to my purchasing of 500 litres of petrol over the past 3 consecutive months.......

im having mixed feelings tho despite the additional perks of having an elite card.......

i have had my new ride for 3mths..........and with my old ride, ive never topped 500 litres........any1 catch my drift yet?

okok........i.e. my fuel consumption has gone up..........and with oil prices going up, this is not good........im hoping ill get a job that is easily accessible from an mrt station so i can scrimp on the petrol in future..........$2/litre is really no joke..........

this also only enforces the feelings of loss i have for my old ride..........i miss him/her/it *sniff sniff*

Monday, May 29, 2006

Tiu lah.....

practising my cantonese for the next trip to HK........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsYRQkmVifg

Thinking Aloud

just thinking/dreaming aloud.......

been feeling very techie lately........probably due to the impending arrival of a new monitor, ive been doing tons of catchup on the latest tech........

it used to be the constant hunger for more power, more speed jus to squeeze out every possible frame per second in my mostly 3D first person shooter games........

now that ive stopped playing games, im just tempted to build myself one bad-ass of a machine......just for kicks.........and then maybe then i might jus start gaming again........but that last bit is pretty much a long shot.........

after which ill build HTPCs for evry single tv in the house...........unfortunately, my dad hasnt jumped on the LCD TV bandwagon yet...........so that would leave me with overkill systems........but this way we would be obsolete proof for the next year or so........or at least until the next wave of techie urges.........

and then the question of money comes a knocking on my door.........

The Choices Abound

this is pretty much the worst time of the year for me in terms of tv shows........all my shows have finished their latest seasons........which means i am sitting at home without any tv show to watch..........

so anywayz, i have a decision to make.........im torn btwn either one of these..........
VX2025WMVA1912WB

the 1912 is going at sub-S$500, it is pretty much the best bang for buck.......and going for this monitor would leave me some spare cash for future upgrades like a new vid card or the new HTPC (Home Theater PC) project that's been bubbling ard in my head lately or to once again kickstart my interest in comics (or to go into the "new coilovers for my ride" fund).......but.......it is butt ugly.......and when it comes to widescreen, 19" doesnt seem to kick it........

the 2025 on the other hand........is 20" of pure lurve.........if it is widescreen, 20" is probably the minimum to go........19" is stretching it abit..........and it looks damn good......aesthetically pleasing, fast panel, great quality and an equally pretty price of S$800 which would set me back by.......gosh.......i dun even know how far back it will set me back by...........

the coming PC Show 2006 will of course see a drop in the prices for these 2 monitors.......for the 1912 maybe a drop by $50-$75 thereabouts.........while the 2025 shld see a drop of $100 similar to the IT Show 2006 held earlier in the year.......

and of course they come with freebies..........a keyboard + mouse for the 1912 and a targus notebook bag + 512mb thumbdrive for the 2025........tho im not sure if the freebies will be available during the PC Show........

choices choices choices.........haiz.........

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Hic

i am just this close to throwing myself out the window.......jus so i can stop my blasted hiccups

argh.....

it is either that or i try sticking a pole down my throat and try to stuff watever is stuck in my diaphragm down into my stomach........kinda like something i saw in one frame of an asterix comic years back - a lady was pumping a stick down a goose's throat to make goose liver paste.........

heck, if it cures these damn hiccups ill try it........

Friday, May 26, 2006

Obsessions

lately ive started to lose interest in some of the things ive been recently obsessed with.......

not an new feeling in actual fact, it jus signifies ive pretty much found no new progress with my current.....hobbies......obsessions does have a negative connotation to it at times.......

detailing my ride does not reap as much satisfaction as it has before..........mainly bcos my hands are tied with the lack of funds.........and considering that in future when work starts i will have less time to spend with my ride, i guess the time has come to shelve this hobby until i have the same amt of time, luxury as i do now.........of course it doesnt mean i totally neglect detailing my ride, maintenance is a must......but i probably will not be making extra purchases to experiment with anymore.........so sad.........

been considering going back to some of my past hobbies.........like zhnging my pc, comics......

speaking of my pc, come next friday at the 16th PC Show 2006, i will be getting myself a new monitor~! it's gonna be 19 inches of widescreen luvin~



goodie. can hardly wait~

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

It Has Begun

i think im starting to get too comfortable with my current state of doing-nothingness.....i need something to kick start myself again.......else i might just end up wasting my time away and not get a job......

was looking through the list of positions available on the NTU eCareer Fair website.......

there were one or two that caught my eye.........but.......the thought of writing cover letters for each suddenly felt.......tiring..........

wow.......the jadedness has started~!!!

P.S. apologies, im even too lazy to use proper terms. adding 'ness' to everything seems very convenient considering my current state of boredomness..........tho i have no idea y that is so since im feeling lazy and adding 'ness' to 'boredom' seems to contradict that.........so does writing this PS.........

Buahahahahhaaa....

funny stuff from the opening of The Daily Show

The Daily Show - Canoe Who

couldn't embed the player into this post, blogger came up wif an error.....

Stomach It

they replaced my favourite Hi-5 member with some korean single name oriental looking kathleen wannabe~!!!!

kathleen is having a baby~!!!!

great, now i have no choice but to turn to the blonde one.......

~ . ~

caught the Da Vinci Code movie last monday.........it was a sell-out movie.....the cinema was packed totally.......thankfully i had booked tickets earlier and the good seats i got were an added bonus as well........

NOTE: for those who havent caught the movie, this is a bit of a spoiler here, so i guess it would be best u skip this portion........

the show was good all the way until the end..........as in, the ending sucked......it was predictable towards the end........

note, i havent read the book..........i did watch the documentary "Beyond The Da Vinci Code" tho..........but i fell asleep halfway through that one......

the whole conspiracy stuff by Dan Brown is pretty good.........how much truth there is behind it i dun think anyone will ever know for certain.........it swings both ways i would say......and the only thing that matters now is wat people choose to believe in just as wat Robert Langdon, played by Tom Hanks, mentioned towards the end of the movie.......

one bugger in the cinema did not seem to think so.........he just couldnt keep his bloody trap shut when it was revealed that Sophie was the descendant of jesus christ........he jus had to voice his view on the subject by proclaiming that wat was shown on the screen was a load of crap.........

prophet in the making ar that one.........

unfortunately the next scene showing Robert Langdon advising Sophie Neveu on sticking to her choice of belief pretty much made mr "i am the crusader agasint all seeming blasphemy of my religion" look pretty bad........

i really find such pple a waste of good human flesh........nvm u are outright obnoxious, more importantly, u spoil the movie for pple......and right now, much more importantly, u spoil the movie for ME.........if ya cant stomach it, dun watch it........

~ . ~

the Da Vinci Code movie seems to have a certain side-effect on its watchers........ever since the release of the movie, ive noticed pple using the phrase "since time in memorium" or various other permutations (time in memorial, time in memorsomethingnotinthedictionary) more often.........

wah, wat Gandalf (Ian McKellen as Sir Leigh Teabing in the Da Vinci Code movie) say people follow........

he's really giving most of the various prophets and religious figures/leaders a run for their money........

okok, think some might have seen this next bit coming.........

Sophie Neveu (played by Audrey Tautou in the movie) is HOT.........hot hot hot hot hot.........

think abt it........she looks fantastic without even needing to shed any bit of her clothing, in fact she stays fully clothed in long sleeves and knee length skirts throughout the movie, a regular nun..........lovely french accent, well defined symmetrical features and the best bit - she's a crytpologist~!!!! rocket science and various other fields of science cant come close to cryptography.........

that jus took me.......now SHE is wat defines beauty and brains.......then again, so do many other fictional characters.........

sighz........first hk makes me inadequate abt sg food, now this movie makes me feel inadequate of all the females on this planet save for J........

speaking of food........the inadequacy continues.........dinner at Billy Bombers 2-3 nights ago was perhaps the first dinner since returning from hk that actually left me feeling satisfied (i.e. full). it seems that at this rate, i might jus end up having billy bombers' All Star Burger every evening or do myself in someday........ohyes, their milkshake is heaven..........i think i have found THE dealer for my beverage of sin..........

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Live and Love it, Hong Kong~~~

so HK was pretty fun........the food was.....cant find a word to describe it other than just "fantastic".

the shopping was good i guess, judging from J's silly grin at the end of each day......

anywayz, not too sure how im gonna organise this post..........jus gonna go ahead and dump it all in order of the pictures.........

arrival at hk was pretty late, which meant only one thing........supper.........and i was glad our hotel, Imperial Hotel, was smack in the middle of Tsim Sha Tsui cos there were shops shops shops all around and they were still open. the cha chan ting (teahouses) were still open too which meant it was easy to grab a bite........a larger bite than i was expecting..........

stumbled upon wat i think is one of hk's most popular chain of shops selling desserts - Xu Liu Shan


dun mind the long haired guy.........amatuerish photography always yields unsightly artifacts.....

they have kick ass desserts there comprising mainly of mango juice, mango ice-cream, mango fruit, coconut milk, hashima (snow frogs' glands) and bird's nest......pics of the actual stuff later........

after a quick supper of wantan noodles + dumpling noodles at a teahouse and dessert at Xu Liu Shan, it was a short walk around the hotel area to better acquaint ourselves with the geography.........and the shops..........

for me it was so i wouldnt get lost.....for J it was to........well........strategize......

headed to see the Big Buddha at Ngong Ping, Lantau Island, the next morning...........we had to take the MTR from Tsim Sha Tsui to Tung Chung before hopping onto bus number 23 for a 45min-1hr ride up the mountains to see this huge ass statue of Buddha..........

the ride is definitely not for the faint of heart...........most of the passengers found themselves gripping the edge of their seats for most of the ride........imagine a regular sized bus carrying a full load of passengers moving through mountain roads going at 50-60km/hr on roads with a speed limit of 30 and widths barely large enuff for the bus in some areas......

couldn't believe my eyes when our bus actually caught up with and over-took a mini-bus which had left for Ngong Ping earlier.......

J's stomach isnt really up to the task of handling such rides but thankfully it held up......there was one casualty however, an old lady who promptly threw up at the side of the road as soon as she alighted at our destination.........

a shot of the statue


and the ludicrous sign.........fun walk........yea rite.........


for HK$23/person we got a ticket to enter the exhibition hall at the top of the peak as well as a light snack when we returned down from the peak........the snack consisting mainly of beancurd and some other stuff was pretty good........the beancurd is supposedly made with spring water as one of the ingredients.........


saw this interesting sign on our table.........


wow......so Coke has gone religious...........

after another mad-cap ride back down the mountain, it was off to Victoria's Peak with a fantastic view of the city........too bad we didnt stay long enuf to catch the night scenery........there wasnt much to keep us occupied up there and there were other things to do.......

a view from the Peak


after a quick trip to Mongkok for J to recce more shops, it was dinner time and another trip to Xu Liu Shan.........


basically a trip was made to Xu Liu Shan everyday after dinner without fail.......and fortunately they have several branches scattered all over the kowloon area......

the next few days were pretty much just shopping shopping and more shopping..........each day started with a morning yum cha session followed by shopping before dinner at one of the teahouses........

being a food lover, it would suffice to say that i was in heaven every meal........

for those planning to go to HK for food:
yum cha wise you can get excellent dim sum at Maxim's Restuarant in Causeway Bay, Hennessey Centre. between J and i, we had 9 dishes amounting to a bill of only S$20 per person. no pics of dim sum cos we were jus too busy eating.

teahouses are jus the bomb. although they mostly sell the same stuff (wantan, beef, dumplings, etc) and may seem alittle pricey (S$4 per bowl), but for that quantity you cant find a better deal.........

jus an idea of wat im talking abt, this is wat ive been oh-so crazy abt.......


that's wat each day's dinner normally looks like.......total comes to abt S$10 per person......wantan with actual prawns in them and they still managed to stuff meat in too~! rice is seemingly free too, they give u a pile high enuff for the buddha to perch on........ohya, the lemon tea is pure heaven........u jus cant get enuf of it........

sg dinners have never looked the same since i got back.......sighz.........

for shopping:
Lai Chi Kok MTR Station - HK Industrial Centre
Prince Edward or Mongkok MTR Station - Allied Plaza, Fa Yuen Street, Argyle Centre

im not the expert on shopping, but judging by the amount of walking and spending done, i would say those places are where the good shit can be found.......

on the day of departure back to sg, it seemed that Typhoon Chanchu was approaching the area on its way up to Guangzhou in China and there was a possiblity that our flight would be delayed.......i was pretty excited actually hoping that i would get to experience something exciting for once......J however did not share the same sentiment.........typhoon warning 1 was up during our last day of shopping and on the morning of our departure, it has escalated to level 3........

fortunately/unfortunately, we did not have the misfortune/privilege of weathering a true blue typhoon........after a quick breakfast and an even quicker trip to the bakery for some lao puo bing (wife cakes, some kinda pastry), it was off to the airport and the flight home........

this was wat the sky looked like before the flight.......


not too sure if this is good or bad, but pulau tekong was the first thing i saw outside the plane as it approached our tiny island..........y!??!?!?!

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Survivor Shopping: Hong Kong

the stupid thing abt blogging is that the posts come out in chrono descending order starting with the latest at the top.........so now that im intending to do 3 different posts instead of a one big chunk post on the latest happenings, it looks weird.......

heck.....

this post will be on something i came up with while shopping w J in hk.......

The Men's Survival Guide to Shopping with your Girlfriend
First off, a piece of advice to the ladies in the house. DO NOT bring your boy shopping with you. for the simple reason that males are not made for shopping. and the only reason we ever agree to go shopping with you is because we wanna make our girls happy. but very often, in fact all of the time, it ends up with us feeling miserable.

we are not your shopping companions. pls find another girl to go shopping with you.

if it is company you want, we can give u company but not at such an expense of misery. men are from mars, women are from venus, they are DIFFERENT. they have DIFFERENCES. so DO NOT expect us to enjoy lugging ourselves around from shop to shop. you cannot plug a triangle into a circlular hole. geddit?

however, shld any male find himself stuck in a situation of terrible boredom and leg aching misery........i have found a few tips to get through the day and reducing the final sulking. the

following applies mainly to my experience in HK, but some points might be relevant to most other situations.....
1. Remember that freebies are available when you make a purchase in any HK shop. im not refering to free pieces of underwear or perfumes, etc. I'm refering to freebies such as directions to the nearest toilet. this is especially important when in a place where toilets are scarce and hard to find.

2. The toilet is your fren. it is the only place where you can sit and rest your tired legs without disturbance.

3. Bring deep heat rub.

4. Load up during yum cha sessions. Believe me, you will need it.

5. Think about all the possible things you can do in the event of a natural disaster such as a typhoon.

6. Bring/buy a mag to read. Any mag, even if it is porn. When in situations of despair, anything goes.

7. Do not get your hopes up when your girl says she feels tired or she needs to visit the loo. Chances are she will forget everything once she a shop with interesting clothes catches her eye. I remember my sec 1 Chinese teacher telling us that the human bladder is capable of being held for 6hrs. I have finally seen proof.

8. Keep yourself oriented to the map. it will help speed up the process in the event that she forgets which direction the end of the road is at. Though that is highly unlikely, but in shld it happen, you can either trick her into believeing that you can reached the end of the row of shops or you will at least prevent her from spending more time in shops that you have already been to but somehow seem new to her.

9. Make yourself useful by modelling clothes that she intends to buy for her father or brother. or if both of you wear the same sizes and clothes, you could model for her. but in that case, you wouldnt be needing to read all this.

10. Shoe shops are generally good news. But beware of the shop lady who might chase you out for occupying the seats meant for her paying customers.

all said and done, i implore the ladies in the house never bring your boys along when u need to shop. it is the same reason y we dun bring u along to sim lim square for our electronic needs or to a garage/workshop for our automotive needs - cos you will get extremely bored in time.

think of it this way............girls when you shop, you wanna enjoy yourselves.......you wanna take the time to mix and match. would you wanna be babysitting an over-sized sulking beluga who cannot give you constructive opinions on clothes?

on to the next post.......maybe later in the night......next one is abt the trip proper........

Friday, May 12, 2006

Hmmmm.......

did you know that you have to wait your turn to have a go in the oven?

im talking abt cremation.......jus found out today that you need to book a free slot at the crematorium before you can throw yourself, or rather, have someone throw your lifeless body into their giant pizza oven.......but they are nice enuf to provide that big wooden spatula thingy so u dun need to crawl in yourself...........u jus need to come up with ya own toppings......

okok, enuf lame jokes.......reason for the topic of cremation being my granddad's admittance to hospital and he doesnt seem to be in good shape..........evry1's more or less expecting him to conk out pretty soon........tho as close as that seems to be to the truth, i am not sure it warrants any form of.......im not sure wat to call it.........consolation? re-assurance? wat exactly do you call the action of someone telling you to go off peacefully, without any worry, while you are perhaps abt to breathe your last breath? and practically shouting it in your ear, thinking you are deaf.......

well, technically, my granddad's pretty deaf.........but heck, i would think shouting things like,"it's ok for you to go now. go peacefully. go on. it's ok for you to go now." is pretty uncalled for........even if it doesnt scare the shit out of my granddad, it would rattle the peanuts of some of the other geriatrics in the same ward........

my aunt sure didnt think so..........

thankfully she was speaking in hokkien........the other patients were malay.......which incidentally helped cos they would then not understand the buddhist verses my cousin was reciting........

sighz.......the old bloke aint dead yet~!!!! sure he's probably gonna leave soon, but is there a need to freak out like this?

then again, pple deal with loss their own way.........i kept my mouth shut........

learnt something new today........they use dopamine to try and boost low blood pressure........it's the same stuff your brain produces when u gamble........

so im thinking someone should setup some mahjong or ban lak (blackjack) tables in that ward for my granddad...........

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Indulgence

ahhhh.......the sweet smell of nua........actually all i can smell right now is vomit from last nite's outing to zouk......

ive come to a few conclusions:
1. ive been out of the partying scene for too long. last night was the first time i had alcohol in probably 5-6mths. a very long time considering beers used to be staple beverage at the end of each wk prior to the past semester.

2. i am an idiot to keep going to zouk mambo. it really isnt much fun if i have to get myself pissed drunk/high jus to enjoy the place. i dun mind a little retro music, but that is WAY too much. the crowd is WAY too young for my liking. except for velvet underground which i had, surprisingly, never set foot in until last nite. not too sure why it took me so long to go visit the place, but heck. would have stayed at velvet longer if not for the main crowd's wanting to head to zouk. so y do i keep going there? cos i have a girlfriend who cant seem to get enuff of it.

3. i am continuously amazed at the things i manage to do even when im drunk. and im referring to things after i get home and jus before i throw myself on the bed to sleep. i can shower, brush my teeth, dry my hair, wash my face, blah blah blah, all in a drunken stupor. so far the only time i have ever missed or don't remember doing all that was the time i passed out hugging the toilet bowl. and even then, i found myself washed up the next morning lying on my bed.

moving on........

completed my FYP presentation on monday.......it was a good feeling. my final piece of work for NTU completed. the presentation was at 8.30am and by 9am it was over and i was driving myself back when i decided to head to Video Ezy for some dvds to watch as well as some macdonald's breakfast to reward myself.

was looking for "Underworld Evolution" so that i could enjoy watching the coolness of vampires fighting werewolves.........but it's not out yet........ended up getting "Hotel Rwanda" and "Crash"..........

fantastic movies, both of them.......very very good........tho i would still prefer watching Kate Beckinsale run around in tight tights.........the 2 shows got me riveted to the screen, but Kate Beckinsale always has me holding my breath at the same time..........

just finished watching "Transamerica" as well........so now im just missing "Capote" before ive done all the shows nominated for Best Picture at the oscars.........but at this point in time, i would say "Crash" really deserves the win.........."Transamerica" was nice, but not fantastic, "Brokeback Mountain" was just.......gay........

Monday, May 08, 2006

Blah Blah

well, the election is over. im still a little sore abt not getting to vote......but heck......next election, i hope somebody decides to challenge for my constituency or else im gonna go contest it myself with a burger as the symbol for my single member party

i guess i shld be posting something abt the election........

well......66.6% seems to be a rather good result for our new PM, taking into account his relative inexperience as PM and also the results of all the maiden elections of past PMs........the overall dip in percentage of votes garnered in each constituency is actually expected considering that sg is moving ahead with a new generation.......i would think in future the percentage will drop even lower as the opposition continues to improve themselves and they become a much more viable alternative........it shld hit a point similar to the states where there is only a slim margin of difference........sg politics then would be mighty interesting.........it is still pretty boring right now......

too much mud slinging and too little focus on the important issues IMO

~ . ~

had an initial D moment yesterday while on the way to J's place for lunch. mum had made some cha ye dan (translated loosely: tea leaf eggs) and asked me to bring it over.........

for those who have not eaten, seen or know what tea leaf eggs are, they are actually just hard boiled eggs braised in a whole lot of soy sauce and tea leaves........

back to the initial D moment........if pple think balancing a cup of water while driving through a mountain pass is diffcult, try holding a container of 6 eggs in soy sauce with your left hand while driving stick and avoiding mad ass "bo zheng hu" (translated loosely: no governement) pple crossing the roads.........beat that jay "im so cool i have no eyes of a wuss" chou........

soy sauce trumps water anytime any day ok..........wussy pple use water......soy sauce stains big time.......water......chey

Friday, May 05, 2006

Ahhhhhh.....

waking up in bed without a care in the world........fantastic way to start my first day of FREEDOM~!!!! fantastic word......FREEDOM~!!! one more time.....FREEDOM~~~!!!!!!!

alrite, so technically i do not dun have a care in the world........figure of speech pple, figure of speech........i do have FREEDOM however.........no matter how short lived it is.......one more time....FREEDOM~~!!!!

so let's have a look watsa mesa gonna dosa for the next few daysa........

1. watch back to back episodes of smallville, house, the oc and boston legal totally feeling guilt-free.
2. clear up my room. out with them bloody notes~!!!! YES~!!!!!
3. ....

shit.....i had such a long list of things to do........y does this always happen.........worse thing is i have already done item no.1 which leaves me with jus number 2 and then nothing.........

anywayz, celebrated the end of exams yesterday with dinner with J at ikea........swedish meatballs and jumbo chicken wings.......walked ard abit getting back some of the lost quality time with J then went off to meet my peepz at hapi daze.........wanted to order a pot of iced earl grey tea.......but they only have the hot version in a pot.

y cant they jus dump ice in the pot?

wanted to order the pot and pay for the extra ice to be dumped in, but im not sure why they wouldnt let me do that.......ended up with jus a pot of hot earl grey......was still a good way to mark the possible end of my academic life........as much as i love to celebrate such an event, i would prefer not to have reason to do it again......

ohyes, will be heading to HK in 8 days........will be back on the 17th......so in case any1 is wondering if im dead from all the over-indulging, rest assured.

here's a little tidbit......the new 2007 Aston Martin DBS that's gonna be driven by James Bond in the upcoming Bond film 'Casino Royale'



beaut aint she?

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

The Final Hurdle

suddenly realised something........

i havent worn a raincoat for ages....

i shld go get myself a raincoat to wear and go find myself some rain......

one last paper to go~!!!! woot~!!!!

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Haiz......wasted

jus found out today that i do not need to vote........cos im in a walkover GRC.........had initially thought im in either east coast or aljunied GRC.......both of which have contests going on.....

basket......how come so heng (lucky) one?

just when i thought for once my drawing a cross would mean something other than winning or losing a game of tic-tac-toe..........damn.......

*sulk*

Monday, May 01, 2006

Erections

well.....the rallies are going on now......and actually i would really love to attend one.......but, exams forbid me to do so.........still, watching the nightly round ups shown on tv have shown me enuff to think up a post on how to be a singapore politician......

1. While making a speech, wave the object of symbolised in your party's flag around. example, the Worker's Party's hammer. Even if the object is just a toy that squeaks. it will either make you look menacing or endearing if u keep waving it and hitting it to make it squeak......then again, it might make you look stupid too.

2. Talk like a tua kang. loosely translated: big hole. the bigger a kang (hole) you are, the more pple will follow you. cos a u r a politician, u r on the stage, so being a tua kang only helps to amplify your seemingly great abilities. it wont make u look bad.

3. use your party's initials to make new labels that hopefully will replace the old, not-so-nice labels thought up by the opposition. although it will probably be forgotten as soon as the rally is over and listeners will probably jus default back to the not-so-nice labels, it shows you are damn strong and wont stand for even the smallest poke by the opposition.

4. hurl everything you can at your opponent. even if it is the nittiest and the grittiest. as long as you make the audience laugh, you are a star in their eyes.

5. money makes the world go round, and it will garner you friends and votes. either propose policies that will promise savings to the common man or make it rain money from the sky.

6. if u are a young person entering politics that has a choice of which party to join, choose the one with the nicest togs. clean crisp whites look very good compared to faded blue polo tees. even the not-so-old-but-not-really-young female candidates are looking pretty fine. ohyes, white makes its wearer look bigger too.......so a tua kang will look tua-er.

7. in sg, as politician, ya gotta know how to speak dialect. jokes in dialect are funnier not only to the older generation cos they understand u, they appeal to the younger english educated voters too cos it is foreign and unheard of to them.

8. pple love to think they are not stupid. keep emphasizing that while u ply them with slapstick jokes and harp on small little nitty gritty issues. get the pple to cheer on your chant slogans abt the nitty gritty issues which you have made out be intelligent issues. this way they will help make them think they are smart too.

9. start off every election by taking out your opponents in any way you can. even if it means making them bankrupt. no money = sway kang (small hole). sway kang cannot make noise. only know how to whistle.

10. if you are on the recieving end, better practise your whistling. cos in sg, if u kena sued by a strong opposition political party member, other than jus kissing your life goodbye, your sway kang can be useful for making abit of noise so that you look like a dying martyr.

too bad i cant get any1 reading this to chant some slogans with me......then i would have succeeded in point number 8.