To Remember

Heard these quotes on House and though they meant quite a bit.

On altruism and helping someone,
"I think that little of you and that much of me."

On being right,
"It means nothing if you can't defend it."

Taking Root

There is something about eating and drinking from proper ceramic or porcelain crockery that makes you feel settled and grounded. And doing it in a country far away from home made me realise that I have finally settled into life here in Nice.

I meant to post something here sooner. At least a simple post if only just to mark on the totem of time that at some point in my life I was living in France. But for some reason, probably my non-habit of blogging more than anything, I never got round to doing it. Up till now.

As I stood at the sink drinking milk from my newly bought mug this morning, I felt grounded and at home. It was a different experience from the pre-mug days when I drank from plastic cups and ate from paper plates. Today, I could take a deep breath, look around my little apartment, see familiarity and feel belonging. Of course, it doesn't really compare to being back home in Singapore but relative to the two months before it certainly is a leap forward in a certain sense.

I guess what differs is that eating and drinking from disposable containers conveyed a sense of dislocation and mobility to me. Like being at a party where the feeling of being lasts only as long as the event before it is time to move on to the next.

The past two months have been long. Difficult in the first few days for various reasons one of which was the distance apart from S but I'm digressing. It got better progressively as I fell into a weekly routine yet I never really felt like I was here. In the back of my mind, I knew this arrangement is only temporary. That I will be leaving this place in shorter than a year's time. In fact, the thought continues to linger. It is a truth after all. Even if the duration of my stay might turn out longer, at some point I will leave this place and that makes everything right now only temporary.

Still, it is only today that I feel like I can say I have really settled down in Nice and it is a good feeling. Much thanks to a little mug.

Self-Indulgence

Something interesting happened to me yesterday that I feel is worth putting down here just so I can look back at it in future and chuckle with some amount of narcissistic self-indulgence.

A talent scout came up to me and asked if I would be interested in becoming a model.

Predictably, my first reaction was bemusement. Recounting that incident to Baby that night, my first thought at the time was that the scout's bak chew tak stamp (translated: eyes covered with stamps). But that quickly gave way to a feeling of amusement. I thought it quite funny how of all the people streaming in and out of Bugis MRT Station, the scout chose me. Maybe it was because I had just left the gym and the effects of my exercise had yet to fade.

Looks like all the sessions at the gym paid off though I will state that becoming a model was never the intent of my trips to the gym and being approached like this is more of an ego boost bonus than anything else. Still, it is nice to receive some form of flattery every now and then. Not that I need it. I know I look good in a suit already which the scout thought I would and which I felt was needless to say. I mean, tell me something I don't already know. :p

Like maybe how good I might look in leopard prints leh-perd preeen-sss. That's bound to attract alot of attention.

Self-indulgence. Really!

Cold Feet

So I got accepted into EDHEC's MSc in Finance course. The email came in yesterday. And with all honesty, I can't say I'm thrilled or very enthusiastic about the now very real prospect of going over to Nice to study.

Yes, this is me having cold feet.

My dad related to me how my Sis turned down an offer to study in Carnegie Mellon several years back when she was about to enter university. For what reason, none of us know. I never asked her about it and I don't think I will but I gather the sense of uncertainty I feel now is similar to what she felt then.

I was making my way to the doctor's about a cold last evening after reading my acceptance letter. And walking along the street, I realised how I could be missing out on quite a lot of things during the year away.

I guess in that way, my Sis' situation with Carnegie Mellon was largely more different than mine now - she would have been gone for a far longer period of time. Hence a lot more scary.

It will probably take me some time before the idea of studying overseas warms up to me again and also before I get another bout or two of cold feet. There's still roughly six months to go before the school semester starts and I still have three more applications out there yet to come back to me out of which two are schools I would really like to attend. Even then, I doubt that acceptance into either one would make the feeling of uncertainty easier to overcome.

Financial Aid

I was having breakfast with my family this morning and had this exchange with my Sis.

Sis: I have some Kenyan Shillings you can use.
Me: How come you have them? You went to Nairobi before?
Sis: No. I just have a few cents because some guys at INSEAD came up with a fund raising idea to raise money for poor people by collecting spare change in all currencies and distributing the money.
Me: So you were one of those who helped?
Sis: No.
Me: Then you were one of the poor people?
Sis: ..... No.
Me: Then how come you have the money?
Sis: I was given the money. The idea sounded smart but turned out to be quite dumb. It doesn't quite work out because the poor people would still need to change the money.
Me: So you are one of the poor people!